I hate bathrooms, especially public restrooms - there is nothing restful about them. They are full of germs. Anytime we are out and Hadas has to go to the bathroom, I inwardly convulse with dread. If you are in a public restroom and you hear a demented woman yelling at a four year old, "Don't touch! Don't touch anything! Don't play with that! There are germs! There are germs! Get up! Get up!" you will probably find me, and poor Hadas who just wanted to pee.
It must be said though, that Hadas, G-d bless her, has a bladder of steel. Sometimes she waits until the last possible second to go to the bathroom. She was at work with me yesterday, playing semi-quietly, pretending to be a ninja princess, when all of a sudden she calls out. "Eeema, I have to pee!" We run down the hall, out the door, around the corner, and into the bathroom. I of course make her wait until I have sufficiently covered any exposed surface with toilet paper while she hops from foot to foot mumbling "I gotta go!!!" Finally I help her sit - with my stern warning of not to touch anything- and she gets to pee. She looks at me with a smile and says, "Did you hear it? I told you I had to pee! I wasn't lying!"
It must be said though, that Hadas, G-d bless her, has a bladder of steel. Sometimes she waits until the last possible second to go to the bathroom. She was at work with me yesterday, playing semi-quietly, pretending to be a ninja princess, when all of a sudden she calls out. "Eeema, I have to pee!" We run down the hall, out the door, around the corner, and into the bathroom. I of course make her wait until I have sufficiently covered any exposed surface with toilet paper while she hops from foot to foot mumbling "I gotta go!!!" Finally I help her sit - with my stern warning of not to touch anything- and she gets to pee. She looks at me with a smile and says, "Did you hear it? I told you I had to pee! I wasn't lying!"
Sometimes it takes a lot of convincing to get her to go to the bathroom. This morning for instance. I am sitting on the couch feeding Ayelet. Hadas is running back and forth from her room to the kitchen. It has been twelve hours since her last tinkle...
Me: Hadasi, go to the bathroom please.
Hadas: I don't have to go.
Me: Please Hadas, just try.
Hadas: I don't want to.
Me: Please! If nothing comes out that's fine too.
Hadas: OK.
She heads off to the bathroom.
Hadas: Nothing is coming out.
Me: Really? OK.
Hadas: No wait, here is comes.
I think I know why she fights it. I think it may have something to do with her fear of missing something. You know, all the surprise parties that take place the minute she heads off to the bathroom.
I hope I haven't grossed you all out with the pee talk. I promise to minimize the talk of liquid excretory product (I Babyloned "pee" just to see what it would say) in future blogs.
9 comments:
Hi.
I hate toilets too! I like your blog.
G.
I'm loving these blogs Deb, it makes me feel closer to you . . . and gives me a better idea of what I might be up for in a little while (no baby yet by the way. due date came and went).
Thanks Ilana.
Come out baby!!!
Another brilliant piece of literary perfection penned by a close direct descendant.
Bubie X
Another brilliant piece of literary perfection penned by a close direct descendant.
Bubie X
Someone please shut off access to Bubie X!
Deborah, you've got to filter out the riffraff...
Just try and keep us out!!
There was a part of your blog today that was so evocative, it reminded me of that pulitzer prize winning novel in which...oh, sorry, gotta go pee!
tee hee.
Bubie X I know you're the riffraff!
zip it!
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